TechCorp (aka The Thunderdome) — Lead Developer (and Chief Bug Whisperer)
Successfully convinced management that 'it's not a bug, it's a feature' for 15 months straight
Senior Bug Producer & Coffee-to-Code Converter
📧 [email protected] 📱 +1 555 HELP-ME
🧠 About (Warning: Contains Traces of Sanity)
I am a caffeine-dependent life form who accidentally learned to code. With years of experience turning perfectly good requirements into beautifully broken applications, I specialize in creating bugs that are so creative, they should win awards. My superpower is writing code that works on my machine but mysteriously fails everywhere else. I have an unhealthy relationship with Stack Overflow and consider "Did you try turning it off and on again?" as a valid debugging strategy.
🛠️ Tech at a Glance
Bug WhispererCoffee DependentStack Overflow Expert
💼 Professional Experience (aka My Journey Through Code Hell)
- 2022–2023
- 2020–2022
WebSolutions (RIP my sleep schedule) — Senior Engineer (Junior Stress Collector)
Mastered the art of looking productive while secretly googling 'how to center a div' for the 500th time
- 2018–2020
StartupChaos Inc. — Full Stack Developer (Full Stack of Problems)
Learned that 'move fast and break things' was not just a motto, but a prophecy
🎓 Education & Learning (Academic & Self-Inflicted)
- B.S. Computer Science (emphasis on the BS) — State University (School of Hard Knocks) — 3.14159... (pi, because I'm irrational) - Graduated without crying in public more than 3 times
- PhD in Copy-Paste Engineering — YouTube University — Watched every 'Learn JavaScript in 10 minutes' video ever made
Great software is built on Stack Overflow answers, prayer, and the tears of junior developers. Also, rubber ducks are excellent listeners.